HEAT wave in the East? Not so much

I guess I should have known, when I starting going Yiddish on everyone at last week's HEAT meeting, that something wasn't kosher. I woke up the next morning with a splitting headache and a carpet growing on my tongue. My first thought was that I'd feel better if I ate something, and the only thing I thought I could stomach was another of those darling little Jell-O treats that the frat boys brought to the meeting.

I dragged myself to the bodega down the street and asked El Jefe if he had a box of instant "Malibu" Jell-O, and he says to me, "Ethel, this ain' no liquor store!" Turns out those little Jell-Os were chockful of alcohol. Those little pishers got me drunk!

Melvina isn't talking to me because I left her passed out (like I knew?) in the lobby all night. So I went to the meeting alone last night. Meshuggah Earl was waiting for me outside the Moe Howard Jewish Community Center and said the room stank to high heaven of rotting gefilte fish. I ended up cancelling the meeting and spent the entire time scrubbing down the meeting room with with bleach, which barely cut through the stench. Thanks a lot, New York, for picking this week to have a record heat wave. Pee-uw!

One positive note: one of the frat boys showed up last night and helped me clean up. Ian (his nickname is Phlegm) was very apologetic and said he was actually interested in joining HEAT! So I guess it's not a total loss.

I just wish I could stop thinking about Jell-O.