The Human Elf Association for Truth (HEAT) seeks to spread the word: WE ARE HERE! WE ARE HELFANS! HEAR US ROAR!
We don't know how many helfans are out there. Here in New York City, the local HEAT chapter has four members, though I am so far the only Helfan in attendance. The other members want to help promote interspecies friendship, and I am grateful for their support (except for Earl, who wears a tinfoil hat and won't believe me when I say that I don't know Gandolf the Wizard).
We believe that there are many helfans in existence around the world, probably languishing in convalescent homes as I did for many, many years. Maybe you know one of these unfortunates: perhaps it's your short, strange aunt who swears that you are bathed in a warm pink light; or a diminutive neighbor who complains that your ghosts are keeping him up at night; or a coworker who was carted off one day when he claimed that he could read the boss' mind about an upcoming layoff.
PLEASE: Help us to help the helfan who still suffers!
